I Hope You Know Her

Fifteen years is a long time. Within that time span, there are lessons learned, goals are attained, relationships are built, there are those who will no longer be physically in our lives, tears are shed, and great joy realized.  There is always the challenge to recognize ourselves for who we truly are so that we can understand our role in life and know how to effectively move forward to make an impact in our life. A lot of living goes on in fifteen years. 

 We often hear the question "What advice do you have for your younger self?"  I am witness to the reverse.  After this past week, I am also a firm believer in knowing who we were and where did we come from? There is a ten year old girl who has much to say now that will help her older self in another fifteen years. I would like to document a little of that 10 year old in the hope that this girl is still somewhat present in 15 years, just in case I'm not.  To that future self, I say, "I hope you know her."

Yesterday was the big double-digit birthday.  I do remember when I turned 10 during the year that my family was making the one big move of our lives from our childhood home in the city to our made-to-order home in the suburbs.  I was ever at my mother's side helping with packing and preparing and she was actually very grateful.  I felt truly empowered.  I felt as if I was as adult-like as I could possibly be.  So now it is my granddaughter's turn.  And her confidence was oozing all day.  She had a birthday crown, decked out in gold glitter proclaiming "It's my birthday," worn with pride from early in the morning until she settled for the evening.  She wore it on the bus, in school, to her birthday dinner at a local arcade, and back home for her birthday pie.  She owned every aspect of what it meant to be the birthday queen and what it means to celebrate your first double-digit birthday.  Her head was held high for each posed picture.  She loved who she was yesterday.

Emma came down the stairs one morning last week, stopped dead in her tracks and stated "oh, you got your hair colored darker!"  I laughed and said the hairdresser had a little accident the day before and had used the wrong shade.  I then added, "Do you like it?"  She laughed and said "If I am being honest - I like the lighter color much better."  Well, there you have it.  Probably the most self-proclaimed honest opinion I have had all week.  Honesty is a good policy.  She wasn't too harsh.  Just an opinion, but it was her opinion and valid for that reason.  I hope she maintains that honesty, attempt at diplomacy, and confidence to speak her mind. 

Over the weekend, my sister and I were having one of those discussions on a national hot topic that seriously amounts to little other than expressing opinions.  Emma was quietly sitting at the end of the couch, appearing to be engrossed in her own thoughts.  That was until she inserted "I have a voice!"  We both stopped and turned to her to hear her well-weighed opinion on our topic, delivered with all of confidence in the world.  I hope that confidence does not wane over the coming years because her input was intelligent, well-considered, and delivered with a panache.  

As she prepped for school the other day, I witnessed her being attacked by hormonal asteroids.  Her sweet, confident, snarkiness was quickly transformed into short-tempered and anxious meltdowns.  She took no mercy on anyone in her path.  When reminded that we understood but the resulting behavior was not acceptable, she stalked off - not to be seen for about 10 minutes.  As she finally passed to head to the bus, she moved in and placed her arm around my waist, only to softly affirm "I love you."  

Give it more time.  In a few years time the asteroids will find their proper place and you will have a new control to move on to greater adventures, new challenges, and a whole range of emotions to help you grow.  Take your 10 year old self with you on your journey and build upon her.  This wonderful, complex human that you are has a mind and a heart with much to say.  Continue to say it all.  

When the pre-teens and teens turn into the twenties and someone asks if you have a message for your younger self, I hope you can respond by saying "No need for that.  I know her well!"