Circle

The hostess greeted us at the door.  "Do we have reservations this evening?"  I told her of our reservation for three, only to hear her question of "you mean five?"  As I started to say "just three," my husband's voice came from behind.  "Yes, that's right - five."  Now, I'm an old woman of Irish descent.  I like seeing the road ahead of me, I love being in perceived control, and I do not like surprises.  As we made our way to our table, the questions started:  Who else is coming?  Is it our son and his wife (who I had been told could not join us)?  C'mon, you know I don't like this!  As we settled at our table, the two empty chairs dominated my line of vision.  

Thank god, the wait was short.  Soon the hostess approached our table again with two dear old friends.  I can't even estimate how long it had been since we had last seen them, other than a brief encounter at the garden store two years ago.  The only thing that kept us apart was life.  That's it.  Everybody was busy living life - raising kids, loving grandkids, maintaining health and home, and working.  There was no bad blood or harsh words.  We always had good intentions to re-connect when there was a story triggering a memory of the warmth, fun, and growth of days gone past. Life held us captive and the connections were never made.   And yet here they are at the restaurant because someone cared enough to reach out to make that connection. The stories continue as if there were not all of those years between meetings.

Two hours was all it took to remind me of the very circular nature of our lives. The most important reminder was how we have all celebrated new life, welcomed the addition of new members of our respective circles, and experienced loss. Both families were out there circling in their own sphere, These spheres orbit on their own and we are very lucky when they intersect with another orbit.  It's not always easy to make these intersections happen, but if you had a strong-enough connection, you can resume on your intersecting paths with just a little work. It was a reminder strong friendships do remain intact despite distance.  The joy of the dinner was how we were able to pick up right where we left off.  Very natural, very easy.  We circled back to our last point of intersection and were able to circle together for the evening.

Two quick things.  The fifth member of our party was our daughter.  At first I feared it would be an awkward, old folks night for her but it was something very different.  Hearing the stories - some re-hashed, some new updates - helped her tie together youthful happenings that were unexplained to a child, but now she better understood how friendship enriches our lives.  Even if the friendship is interrupted, the richness of shared experiences remain.  We also need to take a moment to discuss the planner of the surprise.  How utterly risky!  Knowing that I can get downright ugly over happenstance, he took the risk. Spurred by our friends' recent mega wedding anniversary, my looming birthday, and our commitment to re-connecting with folks post-pandemic, he went full-bore.  Good for him!  Thanks to hubbers, we not only had an incredibly great evening filled with conversation, but we now have concrete plans to avoid further disruption of the friendship.  His risk was a win for everyone at the table and I so love him for taking the risk.  It was an incredible surprise. Another lesson - it's okay.  Try something different - take a risk.  You may just find something that fuels your orbit and could give you a momentary convergence.  Life is, indeed, a circle. (hear Harry Chapin - good stuff)