Sometimes she just gets in a funk

We visited my sister in the Midwest to get her settled in a new apartment this Labor Day weekend. The weekend brought a little of everything - some settling, some shopping, eating, drinking, and lots of visiting and girl talk. A change of scenery and sharing a weekend with two of your favorite people is always fun.

My sister is currently struggling with a position she has held for 18 months. She is a direct report to a full Vice President and together they re-define dysfunctional relationship. They are not collaborative in their approach, both exhibit passive-aggressive tendencies in their own way, and the outcome is a very uncomfortable working environment for my sister. Currently the VP has committed to writing his expectations for less passive-aggressive behavior from my sister. We spent quite a bit of time discussing work-arounds and whether she should stick it out or cut her losses and resign.

It was interesting to me that when faced with responding to a demanding, contentious email, Kit went at it straight on. Her curt, crisp response would most likely be viewed as passive-aggressive. When I offered up that she really was in a position where she would be best served by reviewing all correspondence prior to sending to be sure that it wouldn't be misconstrued, she highly objected. "I will not review and re-word each email I write. I just will not do that." We both ultimately walked away from the discussion with the unspoken agreement to agree to disagree. I worry for her, and anticipate that the outcome will be defined as the situations continue to be played out.

Early Labor Day morning we rose and headed out for the one hour drive to O'Hare. Kit set her Garmin for the airport and headed out of her neighborhood onto the main road. Garmin directed her to take the first right. My sister looked at the Garmin and said "no." Hhhmmm. Garmin then instructed "in .2 miles take a right." She didn't. Kit says "I know this road ends at the highway." Garmin says "Turn right in .4 miles." "Can we turn the Garmin off? Mute her?" "No, but I know that I am right." Garmin chimes in "In .4 miles turn right." This continued for every right hand turn along the 8 mile route. Every single right hand turn. For eight miles. So at the end of the road, sure enough, the road became the highway. Kit looked at me in triumph and stated "Sometimes she just gets in a funk!" Who gets in a funk? "My Garmin gets in a funk. She has done it before."

Later that night, relaxing at home, I received a call from Kit. She wanted my opinion on her response to the email we discussed on Sunday. Lo and behold, her response was a one sentence - curt and concise instruction for her VP to refer to a string of emails. No softening, no review to phrase it in a kindler, gentler tone. As we worked to re-word it, I stressed the importance of softening in order to hold onto her job. Her response was "I'm not sure I want it." Therein lies the problem. While she works on determining whether she will stay at her job, I have one thing to say: "Sometimes she just gets in a funk!"