Margaret

It could be difficult to put pen to paper and fairly represent 88 years of life here on earth. It might even be hard, in certain circumstances, to find beliefs, personal attributes, or personality traits to share. This was not the case in writing about our Mom, Margaret McCarthy.

In recent years when asked how she was feeling, oftentimes Margaret merely said “What you see is what you get.” How true was that? There was never a question of where you stood with Mom. No gray area, no shyness of opinion, and a well-honed ability to convey a belief with just a slight tilt of the head and that sidelong look. What you saw was what you got. Intelligence, a sharp, quick wit; consistency, spirituality, discipline, a warm smile, honesty, loyalty and strength all made up Margaret. Everyone knew the same Margaret. Many conversations with Margaret would end with “I’m sorry, that’s just the way I feel.”

If you consider Margaret’s legacy, that too is quite simple and evident. You see, everything that was important to Margaret is represented in this church today. She drew her strength from her days at Holy Apostles, Mercy High School, St. Augustine’s, and for the last 45 years, right here at St. Pius Tenth. She valued these faith communities. She embraced the teachings of Catholicism and passed that faith on to all of us. Catholic education was not an option, it was a given. Of course if you were a boy your search should start and end with Aquinas. And the girls in the house lived well into our adult lives hearing “Well, if you had gone to Mercy, you would still have a high school today!”

Margaret worked for many years after Dad’s death as the housekeeper at St. Pius Rectory. She considered it an honor to hold this position. Part of the honor was to contribute to the well-being of Fr. Connor and the many priests who came to St. Pius. She valued her association with the priests and others who worked in the rectory.

Her days at the rectory allowed her to marry two of her loves – parish and cleaning. Oh, how she cleaned. Her whites were whiter, her creases tighter, there was no place for clutter or dust, especially as we learned, under your beds. That was a favorite hiding place in our rooms and oftentimes the broom would come out and everything would be swept into plain view. There was no question in our minds as to what to do with the piles.

One last reminder from Margaret’s faith life. There is always time for the rosary. There were rosaries strategically placed around the house. Always under her pillow, in end tables, purses, and in her sitting room. You never knew when you would need one, so they must be easily accessible. Soon after she moved in with Tom and Mary Pat, they learned that 9pm nightly was dedicated to the rosary. The volume of the TV was adjusted just enough so that all could enjoy Mother Angelica and the sisters working their way through the rosary for that half an hour each night.

Education and learning were top priorities for Mom and Dad. It never would have occurred to anyone of us to challenge this principle. We often would hear “Good, better, best. Never let it rest til your good is better and your better is best.” She lived it, she taught it, and she expected it. This love for learning enabled Margaret to develop one of her later life loves. She was a news, weather, information junkie. Certain stories truly animated her and when filling us in on the story, we always received a bit of editorial as well. She was incredibly well versed in politics, natural disasters, and other current events. We will miss her re-caps and discussions.

Margaret truly loved her time with family and friends. Lunch with friends from Mercy, her “widows group,” and others from St. Pius were the high point of her week. She truly valued these friendships. The ultimate lunch dates were those with her sisters, Mary and Kathleen. The three of them would go to Crescent Beach and sit well into the afternoon, catching up on all the family happenings. They were so close.

Family was everything to Margaret. Outward expressions of love were not overt, but rather the example of a faith-fueled consistency exhibited by doing the right thing, every minute of every day. She and Dad showed us love by caring for our physical needs, developing our faith and minds, and by helping us develop a strong work ethic and the tools needed to manage our lives. She believed that children were on loan to her and that it was her role to prepare us for adulthood. As time went on, all phone calls and visits ended with a heartfelt “I love you.” She truly did.

Grandchildren were game changers for “Granny or Grandma.” Each one of them, Andrea, Sean, Danny, and Keegan brought something new to her life. She appreciated the uniqueness of each grandchild. She loved you all!

On her last Monday evening, Margaret was having a hard time breathing and she was tired. After a quick visit, she looked at Mary Pat and said, “I will be leaving you now.” As this was the way she normally excused herself from a conversation, Mary Pat asked “Where are you going?” Her answer was simple, “I’m just going into the next room. I love you.” That was the last conversation they had.

We are happy for Margaret that she was able to peacefully leave this earth and move into the final next room of heaven, during Easter Week. She most likely will hold Brian, lunch with her sisters, and enjoy a Manhattan with Jack. We, in the McCarthy household, are celebrating Mother’s Day two days early, knowing that Margaret is enjoying the ultimate gift she worked for her whole life, heaven.