Tell Me You Know Where You Left Your Brains

Your body is on auto-pilot. You are programmed for fun. Life is a risk. Each step takes you to the edge of the cliff. You occasionally look back to see if we are still in view, and then you jump. You are a 19 year old male. With the guidance of God you will grow old, but in the meantime, tell me you know where you left your brains.

I have witnessed the impact of your keen human sense, exhibitions of an intellect higher than most, spirituality that is rather breathtaking, great compassion, quick wittiness, and sound judgment. Yes, I remember it all vividly, as if it was just yesterday that you were here. It was quite some time ago I believe, and I also believe it will be awhile until we see all of you again. You are a 19 year old male.

It's nearly impossible to track the happenings of the last two weeks. I suppose no one event is of itself life shaping, but hopefully you will read this list as an old man and wonder how you made it through. This was the last two weeks of May 2009. You are a 19 year old male.

You owe the Town of Brighton $85 for driving without a license and up-to-date insurance card. Oh yes, you possess the cards, but needed to make a special trip to show them to the judge. The $85 is to cover the judge's time, the policeman's time...

You talk your way out of getting a ticket for driving 9 miles over the limit in a construction zone at 1 a.m. "Officer, I had no idea that law applied during non-construction hours... Thank you sir."

"Under 21" night at the dance club ended in a cooked-up scheme to go in search of the hot girls who sought refuge at the gay bar. That part of the evening ended when the bar patrons treated you as if you had come for something other than the hot girls.

You blew out your knee in basketball. Physical therapy should help it, but we may never know because you have not gone.

You did your wash after four weeks and when Dad ran out of underwear. That's a strange one, isn't it?

You were within a permission slip away from another senior ball with your end-of-May- girlfriend. That would have been an approximate $200 expense to you. The ball was Friday - you announced tonight that she is strange, and apparently she is also history. You were home for half an hour before you let us know that you were off to spend the evening with another amazing girl. (Honestly - you called her amazing.)

You admitted that you had not been to classes since March. That was probably a week or two after we bought the $130 textbook.

You offered me a $19.71 pay check in exchange for a $20 bill. I took the deal. When I later asked where the check had gone - you gave me the eyes and said you needed gas.

There were abandoned bikes on the side of the garage in the rain. You have developed amnesia as to who left them there along with the traffic cone collection that multiples in a rabbit-like manner. There were six 19 year old males here today and thankfully the bikes were re-claimed. You indicated however that an old girlfriend is saving another cone for your collection.

This represents the things that I, as your mother, know about. I am sure that the list could be substantially longer with everything I don't know. You are after all - a 19 year old male.

Please tell me you know where you left your brains. You will need them next year.